If a Woman Were a Combine

I was looking through an old photo album the other day, and an article that my mom cut out and saved fell out of it. I thought it was fun so I thought I’d share it.
If A Woman Were A Combine
by Dody Linin
If a woman were a combine, she’d get more attention than she could stand,
From that wonderful farmer, who in marriage took her hand.
But the affair begins, before the ink dries on the bill-of-sale,
And it’s an affair, I assure you, that will never grow stale.
Why weeks before harvest, when he won’t speak to anyone else,
He walks round and round that combine, just tightening her belts.
And those days before harvest, when he won’t even look at you,
He drives her out in the bright sunlight, just to see what else he can do.
Now don’t get me wrong, she works hard without complaint,
But during harvest, I’d have to die to get that attention from my mate.
Aw… they just drove by, and what a lovely pair,
I’m bakin’ in this hot wheat truck and he’s got her air-conditioned ait.
Finally harvest is over, and you catch that quick shower,
And where is your husband?
Washin’ and waxin’ that combine for hours.
Then he drives her inside and sweetly said, “I’ll see you,
when the last of my field work this fall is through.
Now that first romantic snow falls, and the field work’s far behind,
He jumps out of bed, runs out the door and hollers, “I’m gonna work on my combine.”
And while bolt by bolt he tears into that machine,
I’m lying here in my pink nightie thinking it should be John Deere green.
Yes, if a woman were a combine, what delight would be at hand,
Can you imagine being as captivating to that big hunk of a man?


About akm17

My name is Alex Morris, and I am from a small, rural town in Missouri called Ballard. I grew up on a row crop and cow/calf operation. I have always loved the farm life, and I have always been very active around our farm. Now, for the first time, I have been away from where I grew up and am experiencing college. It is always good to go back home to the farm, and I try to make it there as often as I can. It’s my favorite place to be. Being away has only made me appreciate agriculture more. Here, at Missouri State University, I am majoring in Agricultural Communications and I plan to have an emphasis in graphic design. My goal is to be an advocate of agriculture. The way I am going to start “spreading the word” of agriculture is through this blog. I plan to share the issues I may come across, things I find in the social media, or topics that we disucuss in my Relations in Agriculture class or any of my other classes. I will also share stories straight off of my farm. I will talk a little about what goes on around there, and post pictures whenever I can, because they are worth a thousand words that don’t have to be typed. I love to take pictures and to tell good stories. Sometimes I may even talk about life in general if I come across something that needs to be shared. Overall, I am a very stong believer in agriculture. It’s where my heart is, and I want to make people aware of what is going on out there, and bring things to their notice they may not be aware of. I believe that is my job as an agriculture advocate, and this blog is just where I am starting out.
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